Kentucky Passes Law to Stop Trans Women from Giving Men Erections

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Kentucky Senate passed a law that will make it illegal for a trans woman to give a man an erection.
Kentucky Senate passed a law that will make it illegal for a trans woman to give a man an erection.
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FRANKFORT, KY – The Kentucky Senate has passed a new bill making it illegal for trans women to give men erections.

“It’s about time we stop this madness and get to the heart of this trans matter and that is that there are men running around dressed up like women that are giving us normal, straight men erections and we can’t have that!” said State Senator, Dennis Freed. “The only thing that should give me an erection is a female, of any age, and of any relation to me. That’s it. I don’t need no ladyboy out there with big, beautiful breasts, and a cute little behind, and a smile that’ll make Baby Jesus cry making my penis hard. It’s not ok and yet it is happening every day.”

The new bill proposes a large fines and possible jail time to any “man dressed in lady clothes” that gives any man within 100 yards an erection.

“Men in Kentucky need to know their erections are safe. The first time a trans man-woman gives a man an erection that will be a fine of $1,000,” said Kentucky Judge, Clarence Wiggins. “But if that person keeps walking around giving men erections, then we will put that person in jail because we can’t have men getting erections from someone that shouldn’t be giving men erections. That’s not how God intended it. I don’t want to be sitting there, looking at all the beautiful girls walking around the University of Kentucky, lightly stroking myself through my pants only to realize that the ‘lady’ who just bent over in front of me with the world’s most perfect keister, also has a set of testicles. It’s not ok, yet it could happen.”

Notably, the bill covers only in-person interactions and does not cover digital interactions.

“For research purposes we need to still be able to view, on the internets, and in the privacy of our own homes, images and videos of these trans so we can familiarize ourselves with how they look in case we run in to one in real life and are infected with an improper erection,” said Kentucky Representative, Geln Monsorio. “I will be spending much of the next week studying videos of an adult nature to make sure I can identify a trans in case I happen to see one in such a way out in the public.”

The bill does also not cover any other species or object.

“If a man gets an erection from a potato, well, that’s between him and that potato,” said Wiggins. “And if a man gets an erection from… say a neighbor’s sheep that just looks so gosh darn pretty as it prances around the field outside my… uh, someone’s window then an erection is understandable. But an erection from a man in lady clothes is not ok and I’m sick of having to flatulate myself for getting (an erection).”

Trans and civil rights proponents are protesting the bill saying the bill punishes the innocent.

“Innocent people will be punished for just being themselves,” said Trans Activist, Chloe DuVane. “We cannot control who gets an erection from us. Nor should we. Just because these guys in Kentucky can’t handle the realization that they find men attractive doesn’t mean others should be punished. These fucking jerks make me want to throw up. Should they be put in jail for that? No. I mean they should probably be put in jail for just being absolutely horrible examples of human beings, but not because they make me want to throw up.”

The bill will now head to the Kentucky House of Representatives where it is expected to pass unanimously.


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