Arden Bleamoe says he has a "sick" spring break vacation planned and definitely won't be going home to his parent's house and masturbating the entire time.

College Student Has "Sick" Spring Break Plans and Definitely Won't Be Going to his Parent's House

SPOKANE, WA – Gonzaga University freshman Arden Bleamoe told friends that he has “sick” spring break plans and he is definitely not going home to his parent’s house.


Remembering Those We Lost in 2023

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – As the new year dawns, it’s time to look back on those we lost in 2023. The Scoop News has decided to honor some of The Scoop News Staff that passed away last year in brief memoriam.


Dean Jeffries is planning on spending the entire office holiday party talking about the war between Israel and Hamas.

Coworker Ready To Talk About Israel-Hamas War at Office Holiday Party

LINCOLN, NE – Local man, Dean Jeffries, is looking forward to sharing his thoughts and views on the Israel-Hamas war with his coworkers at the upcoming office holiday party.


10 Things People Don't Know About Dean in Accounting

ATLANTA, GA – It may seem as though Dean Jeffries in accounting is an open book but there are many things about Jeffries that many people do not know. To that end, The Scoop News has identified 10 things about Jeffries that people may find surprising.


Reporter Denise Holman lazily scrolls through Tik Tok as she waits for a new trend to appear.

Local Reporter Sitting Around Waiting for Next Tik Tok Trend to Appear

PHOENIX, AZ – Local reporter Denise Holman is waiting for the next Tik Tok trend to present itself so she can report on it.


The CDC will soon issue new COVID guidance documents that can be used as an excuse to not see family this holiday season.

CDC Reminds Americans COVID Still a Valid Excuse to Not Visit Family

WASHINGTON D.C., – Although severe cases and hospitalizations have decreased in recent months, scientists are the Center for Disease Control (CDC) say that COVID is still a valid excuse to not see relatives at Thanksgiving.


Jason Strooper has no joy or laughter in his life as he no longer finds Buzzfeed article funny.

Buzzfeed Article Proves Local Man Has No Joy in His Life

MISSOULA, MT – Thanks to a recent article on the click bait website BuzzFeed, Jason Strooper has realized that he may not have any more joy left in his life.


According to women, most single men remain single because they are dipshits.

Study: Most Chronically Single Men are Total Dipshits

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – A new study from a team of researchers at Stanford University has found that a large majority of single men remain single because they are “dipshits.”


The new Leanacaster guitar sits in the background ready for a video conference call.

Fender Releasing New Guitar Designed to Sit in the Background of Video Conference Calls

FULLERTON, CA – Guitar manufacturer Fender will be releasing a new line of guitars designed specifically to sit in the corner of a room during video conference calls.


Most members of Gen Z are not planning on having children because "fuck that".

Study: Gen Zers Do Not Want Children Because "Fuck That"

PITTSBURGH, PA – A new study out of the University of Pittsburgh shows that a large majority of Generation Z is not planning to have children because “fuck that.”


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