AUSTIN, TX – The nephews of all Austin residents called earlier asking if there was any place they could crash this weekend because their bands are playing behind the Safeway as part of the South by Southwest Music Festival (SXSW).

“By noon on Wednesday, eight of our nephews had called us and asked if they and their band mates could stay at our house,” said Austin resident Claire Klinsman. “I’ve had to tell them all ‘no.’ We made that mistake ten years ago when our nephew Caleb and his band Fart Monster Dick Breath ruined our sofa.”

According to SXSW officials, the residents of Austin can expect to receive phone calls from nephews through the end of the week.

“Yeah, well… (getting a call from nephews about a place to stay) comes with the territory of living in Austin,” said SXSW Media Representative intern, Trina Vorat.