LOUISVILLE, KY – Fast food chain KFC has announced plans to release a new beverage cup made from fried chicken.
The new cup, named the “Chickup,” made from chicken breasts, is the latest in “innovations,” from the restaurant.
“You see, we at KFC are known for our inventiveness, always with new and exciting menu items and the new Chickup is just that – exciting!” said KFC Director of Product Development, Sheldon Rantanen. “You see, what we’ve done here now is we’ve taken some, let’s call it ‘chicken’, and we’ve formed it in to the shape of a cup. And then we’ve deep fried that cup, and you see, it will then hold liquid so we can then fill that chicken cup with soft drinks and serve it to people. And then you know what? Once one of our fine customers have finished their delicious drink, they can eat that cup! Doesn’t that just sound amazing? Think of that juicy, succulent KFC Chicken soaked with your favorite soda! It’s like eating an angel for dinner.”
Beginning in January, KFC will start rolling out the new cups in select markets.
“The Chickup is made of 100% chicken-like ‘meat,’ or at least what we are allowed to call ‘meat’ within FDA guidelines. But to keep things simple let’s just call it all chicken,” said Product Engineer, Neeraja Bhalera. “The cup is very much edible. That’s the important thing. And by edible I mean it will not kill you if you eat it… directly. It certainly won’t do you any favors but it alone will not kill you… immediately. So I guess you could say that the whole thing is healthy for you, because if you tried to eat one of our current cups you probably wouldn’t feel that great. Not that the Chickup will make you feel great, but at least the diarrhea will not have as much roughage.”
The new Chickup is part of KFC’s initiative to become more environmentally conscious.
“As an organization we aren’t gonna admit that climate change is a real thing, you see, but we do know that people on the coasts will spend money on things they perceive to be better for the environment,” said KFC National Sales Director, Jamie Compher. “We have several initiatives aimed at increasing our market penetration with environmentally conscious consumers. I don’t want to get too much in to future releases but one other thing we are working on is making wrappers out of chicken skin and straws out of chicken beaks.”
The Chickup was market tested in Iowa and received generally rave reviews.
“I like chicken,” said Iowan and regular KFC customer, Hank Johnson. “If it’s chicken, and fried, I’ll eat it and like it. Have you ever had a piece of fried chicken that you didn’t like? I haven’t.”
The Chickup will be available in January and will come in regular, spicy and Cool Ranch.