CNN Switches Coverage from Missing Plane to Missing Bike

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CNN has reluctantly switched from never ending coverage of the missing flight 370 to the never ending coverage of a boy's missing bike.
CNN has reluctantly switched from never ending coverage of the missing flight 370 to the never ending coverage of a boy's missing bike.
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ATLANTA, GA – Having exhausted all possible story lines, CNN has reluctantly switched their 24-hour news coverage away from the missing Malaysian Flight 370 to the developing story of a child who may or may not have lost his bicycle.

“Now we’re just starting to get the facts on this developing story but it seems that Billy Maxwell may have lost his bicycle,” said CNN anchor Shane Morris. “From what we’ve received so far, young Billy was riding his bike toward Doan Lake when he unexpectedly fell or jumped off. The bike then continues on its own for several minutes before disappearing. There were no witnesses and Billy claims that he did not see what happened to his bike.”

Despite the change in lead story, CNN executives promise to bring the “high level of intense and unending coverage viewers come to expect from CNN” to the story of the boy’s missing bike.

“Everyone in the country can relate to a missing bike and we will cover this story with everything we’ve got,” said CNN anchor Erin Burnett. “Remember back to your own childhood, and that feeling of not having your bike. It is a horrible feeling. We all know what it’s like. This is an important story that we need to cover because it could happen to any American. Every American could get their bike stolen. Even you! Even your mom! You see how important this is now? Way more important than a missing plane that we were told not to cover.”

CNN Anchors said they are excited about reporting on a new story and are deeply concerned about the boy and his bike.

“When I was seven, I lost my bike,” said anchor Anderson Cooper. “Is that the event that caused me to turn to investigative journalism? I can’t say. But I can tell you that that event scared me for life. To this day, there is a bike sized hole in my heart. This story has all the elements that the missing plane is lacking, namely a face to go with it – the face of a sad little American boy who just wants to know if his bike crashed into the lake, or if it made it to safety.”

CNN executives were hesitant to make the switch to a new story but realized access to resources was becoming limited.

“I think we have talked to every single person in the world, twice, and the new people – I guess they are called babies? – can’t talk yet so we are running low on people to interview. Also, we got kicked out of the flight simulator,” said CNN Executive Vice President Ken Jautz. “The company that owns the flight simulator realized that we had a camera crew and a reporter actually living in one of their flight simulators.”

CNN executives also said transitioning to the story of the boy and his missing bike will be easy as they can use many of the same templates and experts for the story.

“Really it’s the same story, just on a bit of a bigger scale,” said Jautz. “We even plan on using a lot of the same ‘witness’ interviews because no one will really be able to tell that they’re not talking about a bike.”

It’s yet to be seen if the change in coverage will affect CNN’s ratings but some television viewers are interested in where the boy’s missing bike story might go.

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