HOLLYWOOD, CA – Several new shows are set to debut in the next several weeks as networks kick off their new fall schedule. Every fall the networks debut a host of new shows to replace shows that have completed their run or have been canceled.
“The fall schedule is make-or-break for every single network,” said NBC Spokesman Garrett Keith. “After a long, hot summer, people really just want to sit on their fat asses and do nothing but watch television. So this time of year is so important for us because of the number of viewers. If we don’t perform, then, to put it bluntly, we’re fucked. If (NBC) don’t get the viewers, then they’re likely to go watch ABC. We don’t want that. Nobody wants that. Well, I guess ABC would want that, but I can tell you that CBS sure as shit doesn’t want that.”
Here’s a brief look of some of the most anticipated new television shows making their debut this season:
The Overthrown (ABC)
From the producers of “Survivor” comes a new reality show set on a remote island off the coast of Africa. The contestants, all former dictators who have recently been forced from power, compete for the right to lead the new island nation. Among the contestants are Moammar Gadhafi from Lybia, Hosni Mubarak from Egypt, Jean-Claude Duvalier from Haiti and a super secret contestant in the form of a soon to be deposed ruler of an Eastern Asian country. ABC has teased that some of the competitions that viewers can look forward to are strange eating events and something the network is calling “squashing the uprising.”
Will It Fit In There (NBC)
“Will It Fit In There” is a new game show where contestants try to fit their genitals into an assortment of places while answering questions about those places. Producers describe it as a show as a cross between “Wipeout” and “The Price Is Right.”
“People these days love the extreme game shows, the more people get hurt, the more people love it,” Keith said. “While this may initially sound like a game that only men can take part in, you could not be further from the truth. Women can also place their genitals in a wide number of things. That’s what’s exciting. Every week you’ll want to tune into see what some chick or dude are going to put their genitals in now and then answer questions while their genitals are in new and exciting places. Think of it as ‘Cash Cab’ with even more penises.”
Coca-Cola Presents the Taco Bell Kardasian Variety Show Presented by Delta Airlines (FOX)
Join the whole Kardasian family as they sing and dance their way to network TV. Billed as blend of music and “comedy,” the show will feature content that is 100% written by the Kardasian family.
The Glory Days (Showtime)
A new drama from the creators of “Mad Men.” The show centers around several handsome men who treat women like shit and the women who love them. The show takes place during some era long gone when men were men and women had black eyes from burning the pot roast. The men are all high power executives of some sort who are trying to deal with the high power world that they live in and the high class women that love them. There will be lots of drama and tension and lot’s of violence, sex and nudity. Producers say the show will actually feature a nude body on screen 80% of the show’s running time.
Vampire Shape Shifting Robot Ninja Panthers (Disney)
A new cartoon from the makers of “Twilight” and “Ben 10,” “Vampire Shape Shifting Robot Ninja Panthers” is a tie in with a new trading card game. Producers hope to capture the magic and popularity of Pokemon and blend it with the tween angst of the “Twilight” series. The cartoon features five robotic vampire panthers that have the power to shape shift. They’re also trained in the use of Ninja fighting techniques. The five robotic ninja vampire panthers will shape shift into a new form every week while trying to make their way through a world that is not full of robotic ninja panther shape shifting vampires.