Passing of A Legend

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COLORADO SPRINGS, CO – In a year marked by the deaths of sports legends Joe Dimaggio, Wilt Chamberlain, and Walter Payton, the most recent professional athlete to pass away is former New York Yankee outfielder Leslie ‘Shep’ Shepardson, 64, at a strip club outside of Colorado Springs, Co.

Shepardson, one of the least memorable players in The Bronx Bombers history, had a 22-year career over which he batted a lifetime .082 and amassed 38 runs batted in. Shepardson spent his whole career with the Yankees and went on to coach his nephew in little league baseball in his native town New York, North Dakota.

Yankees legend Reggie Jackson had this to say in Shep’s honor, “According to this 1970s Yankees yearbook, we were on the same team, but I can’t say I remember playing with the guy, can’t say I ever heard of him either. But who ever the guy was, may God rest his soul.”

In his book, published in 1987, Shepardson talks of some of the challenges he faced upon his entering Major League Baseball.

“Umhmm, I don’t ‘magine nobody will ready this here book, mmhmm, but aye’d like to tell of how I was treated when I got into the nat’nal basball league,” Shepardson said. “All the other plays and media treated me like I was ig’nant, I think that was on account of I’m of polish decent.”

Leslie Shepardson was nicknamed, “The Polish Cannon,” by teamates after his most memorable feat in his sports career. In 1968, Shepardson killed a 96-year-old woman at Fenway Park with a misfired throw to the plate from his center field position.

“After dat one, boy dey never treated me good. I was always the butts of everybody’s jokes, and always gittin sod-o-mized with one of dem Loui’ville Sluggahs. It was’nt no fun,” Shepardson said. “Then, when they got dat bat in all the way to that pine taaar, it’d just sit there, all stuck like. Then they urinated on me. It was’nt no fun”

Shepardson contracted an abnormal sexually transmitted disease, which eventually killed him, from a prostitute he met at “Ahbram’s Tit to Toe” a strip club in Colorado Springs. His condition had seemed to improve when all of the sudden, his condition worsened and ultimately his cock exploded and left Shepardson bleeding to his own certain death. Coincidentally Shepardson died in the very same building that had lead to his ill-health in the first place.

The Sports world has lost so many legends this year, Chamberlain, Payton, Dimaggio, Payne Stewart, and now Leslie Shepardson, these all good people who died before their times, meanwhile pieces of shit like Darryll Strawberry, OJ Simpson, Mike Tyson, Pedro Astacio and Keith Hernandez still walk the earth. It’s a damn shame.

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