Local Man's Girlfriend Seems Distant, Evasive


TEMPE, AZ – Network Consultant Steven J. Welsly expressed concerns to friends and family earlier this month that his current girlfriend, Carol Collins, is becoming more and more distant despite his efforts to advance the relationship.

“I don’t know what is going on with her. I’ve been a really great boyfriend and she is getting all crazy,” said Welsly. “She won’t call me back after I leave her messages. Most nights she is too busy with ‘work’ to go out and she took that picture of us at Disneyland off her refrigerator door and replaced it with her work schedule. Surely our relationship is more important than work.”

According to Welsly, none of the 43 calls made to Collins’ house on Thursday, July 31 were returned. In addition, the 18 emails sent to Collins’ work email account remain unanswered.

Welsly’s friends have suggested that Collins’ may be busy and overwhelmed by all the things that are going on both at work and home.

“I mean dude, just about anyone would get freaked out if you called them 100 some odd times in one day,” said Welsly’s friend Jacob Streeg. “I don’t Blame Carol a bit for backing off. Shit (Welsly) can get a little crazy. One time he was dating this chick who went on a weekend trip with some friends and didn’t tell him… well, when she got back… Steve stabbed her. But that was a long time ago so I don’t know.”

While Welsly’s friends seem to be supportive of his attempt to contact Collins, Collins herself is a bit agitated by the whole situation.

“Seriously, (Welsly) is a fuckin lunatic,” Collins said. “I him told three weeks ago that it was over. I caught him ‘petting’ my dog. And not the normal type of petting, I mean the bestiality type petting. And the whole time he was saying ‘yeah Carol, that’s it. Take it. Take it like a big girl.’ That’s fucked up. That’s really fucked up. And now I don’t think my dog will ever trust another man.”

Despite Collins accusations, Welsly still intends to pursue his relationship with Collins.

“What can I say, I love that crazy chick,” Welsly said. “This one time, when we were, you know, doing it, I made her bark. And not just like woof-woof barking, I mean she was growling and trying to bite me and shit. It was hot. But I think that we’ll get back together, I mean I think she’s my soul mate. She was special. Different. And a minx in bed.”


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