TOP STORY

WASHINGTON, DC – Republican members of congress have condemned a science project from 4th grader Jakob Bistrup that hypothesizes too much heat and not enough water can kill plants.
“(Bistrup’s science project) is just another example of junk science that democrats are trying to convince us all that it’s true so they can shut down all our cars and coal factories,” said Republican Senator, Ron Nillwest of Iowa.
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SEATTLE, WA – Russell Fischer, a 28-year-old black man from Olympia, says he is tired of explaining why he does not like rap music even though he is, in fact, a black man.
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HOLLYWOOD, CA - With the filming set to begin in a few months, Disney has finally revealed the cast for the highly anticipated Star Wars Episode VII.
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Massage Therapist Tries to Ignore Farts
Man Makes Resolution with No Intent to Keep It
Sarah Palin Asks Santa Clause for Relevance
Community College Offering Sexuality Classes

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• U.S. Treasury To Sell Ad Space On Money, Flag
  
• U.S. Treasury To Sell Ad Space On Money, Flag
  
• U.S. Treasury To Sell Ad Space On Money, Flag
  
• Douche Bag Disease Traced to New Jersey
  
• Statue of Liberty's Flame to be Replaced
  
• New Penis Implants Act as TV, Computer Remote Control
  
• Local Man Amazed By Latest Shit
  
• Hollywood Adopts New Affirmative Action rules
  
• KFC Geneticists Developing All-Skin Chicken
  

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• Groupie Accidentally Sleeps With Bass Player
  
• Groupie Accidentally Sleeps With Bass Player
  
• Massage Therapist Tries to Ignore Farts
  
• Father and Son Sex Talk Awkward
  
• Family Concerned After Man’s Jetta Purchase
  
• April Fools' Joke Goes Horribly Wrong
  
• Sarah Palin Asks Santa Clause for Relevance
  
• Community College Offering Sexuality Classes
  
• Man Regrets Masturbating to Olympic Event
  
• Florida to Be More Direct With Racism